The days when it was considered mandatory to finish everything to the last crumb so as not to offend the hosts are long gone. Today, respect for yourself and your needs is no less important than respect for others. So how do you find balance and maintain good relationships by saying a simple, but such an important “No, thank you!”?
“No, thank you!”
It’s easy to refuse an unwanted dish in a restaurant. When a waiter tries to put something on your plate that you don’t want to eat, just say, “No, thank you!” or, meeting his gaze, shake your head in denial. The same goes for buffets, where guests can choose one part of the appetizers themselves, while the waiters bring the rest. You should do this quietly, without drawing attention to yourself.
When each guest at a restaurant orders dishes from the menu independently, you can try asking for the one you like to be prepared without onions, cheese, tomatoes, or any other ingredient. Just don't draw everyone's attention to this, just discuss everything quietly with the waiter.
If you decide you don't want to drink alcohol anymore, simply ask for no more wine to be poured into your glass. Under no circumstances should you cover it with your hand or turn it over.
Don't pick at your plate.
The situation becomes more complicated if you are a guest and the hostess has prepared the meal herself. Contrary to the outdated idea that you must definitely taste everything so as not to offend the hostess, modern etiquette is much more flexible. If you see a dish on the table with an ingredient that you do not eat, simply do not put it on your plate. This is much better than leaving the food untouched later. It is impolite to pick up individual pieces of salad with a fork, bring them to your eyes, carefully examine them from all sides and demonstratively find out if there are mushrooms, garlic or something else in the dish that you do not like. If a product is categorically contraindicated for you due to allergies, and you have already put it on yourself, just carefully push it to the edge of the plate, without drawing attention to it. The main thing is not to politely turn your plate into a food storage area and then secretly feed it to your owners' dog or try to secretly bury leftover food in the nearest flower pot. Animals and plants are not to blame! So that your hostess does not insist on tasting, it is better to whisper to her quietly that you cannot do this, or follow the doctor's recommendations. Just do not delve into the story about how one vegetable causes you hiccups and another provokes gas formation.
Forewarned is therefore armed.
There is an outdated belief that it is impolite to inform the hostess about your taste preferences. In fact, in the modern world, it is quite the opposite. Informing in advance about serious restrictions (allergies, vegetarianism, intolerance to certain foods) is a sign of respect for both the hosts and yourself. This helps to avoid an awkward situation for everyone at the table, when you will not be able to eat anything, and the hostess will feel guilty. Of course, you need to do this tactfully. You should not demand a separate menu, it is enough to say: “I want to warn you that I am allergic to nuts. Please do not worry, just let me know if they are available somewhere.” Or: “I do not eat meat, but I would be very happy to have salads and side dishes.” This approach is much better than sitting silently over a full plate, creating inconvenience for both yourself and your friends.
“Didn't you like it?”
If you are hosting guests and see that a person is not eating something, do not force them to taste it! Asking “Did you really not like this dish?” is also not worth it. Even if that is the case, your friends will not want to tell the truth, and you are unlikely to want to hear it either. If a guest refuses, this does not mean that you do not know how to cook. Perhaps your friend was poisoned yesterday or was diagnosed with some disease. You and other guests will hardly be pleased to listen to frank details from someone else’s personal life, and discussing illnesses at the table, and especially not at all, is taboo. And even more so, in no case should you force a person to drink, insist on a “fine” or persuade them to drink “to the last glass”.
Etiquette abroad: respect, not sacrifice
Indeed, in many cultures, refusing a treat can be perceived more sharply than we are used to. Food is a manifestation of hospitality, and it is treated with special trepidation. However, this does not mean that you are obliged to eat everything that is offered to you, risking your health. No rules of etiquette are worth an allergic reaction or a severe stomach upset. What to do? First, show interest and respect. Praise the dish, its aroma and appearance. If possible, taste the tiniest piece. If the dish is completely unacceptable to you, you can politely refuse, citing health reasons. The phrase “It looks incredibly appetizing, but, unfortunately, I have a very sensitive stomach right now” or “Thank you very much, but the doctor does not allow me to eat that” will be understood in most cases. The main thing is not to refuse the visit itself under a good pretext. This can offend the hosts much more than politely refusing a single dish.
Джерело: ukr.media
