“Diamonds make babies,” sings American country, Dirks Bentley, in his latest radio single. “And babies make mamas”. If I could take it from here, Deirks, I raise another: the children make a family.
Children and their impact on families, something of a paradox. Although they are, of course, test the knot, they can also strengthen the bonds between spouses. And it doesn’t stop there: in the reflection in the first year of my son’s life, I realized that it not only strengthens the bond between husband and me, but between us and our closest relatives, too.
I look at the cousins of my son and I see his features in their faces. I remember the total of blood that flows in their veins that makes me love them again, maternal rage, and that makes me feel more brotherly love for their mother—my sister-in-law—because of the shared blood between our children.
Perhaps most surprisingly, my relationship with my sister, which admittedly is not very strong in our youth experienced a sudden awakening and flourishing, which was a great source of joy in my life. Tenderness that my “gentle giant” brother towards my son also led to the resumption of our relations and we communicate now more than ever before. It’s not lost on me that this wonderful revival and strengthening my relationships with my brothers and sisters, and brothers and sisters-in-law is, mainly because of the existence of my son, and love I was always for them, only deeper now, I also see them as your cherished aunts and uncles.
To watch my parents and mother and father-in-law as grandmothers and grandfathers was a great joy. The joy they take in my son, and the love and care with which they treated him, gave me a unique glimpse into both my and my husband’s since childhood. Now that I’m a parent, I appreciate even more all the joy and sacrifice of my parents and relatives poured into the education of my brothers and sisters, husband and me for many years; this has created new partnerships in the connection between us, which aggravate our relations with each other. I have more investment in their health and well-being, for their own sake and for the sake of their grandparents of my son.
Knowing the importance of healthy marriages and their impact on education, development and future success of children, I become more deeply invested me in the health and welfare of my parents and brothers marriages and relationships with significant others. I cared about these things before my son, too, but my interest intensified after Gabriel’s birth, because I want him to grow up surrounded by wonderful examples of healthy, intact relationship, and I want my nieces and nephews for whom I feel a newfound love for parents—to reap those benefits as well.
All this made me realize the truth acute of late, great words of St. Pope John Paul II: “as to family, nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” He did the news of the fall of fertility in the Western world is doubly troubling to me, because I experienced a strengthening of family ties that comes with the birth of a child. As we cease to have children, we will also stop cement new connections, which, of course, come as a result of growing our family.
No wonder, then, that childless couples are more likely to divorce than couples with children. And while most of us probably attribute this sad fact to the relative ease of divorce, when the custody battle from the table, it may not be because family members are no less invested in each other’s marriages when children are not involved? Of course, I would be devastated if my sister-in-law marriage was terminated to my son, nieces and nephew were born; after birth, however, I would be devastated on behalf of these children, and would do everything in my power to save the marriage. I believe that my daughter will feel the same and do the same for me, precisely because our children are connected to us and put us in each other’s lives on such an intimate level.
Yes, children can strain marriages, and no parent of us can say that parenthood is easy tickets to family happiness. But the commitments and relationships that have developed in the presence of children can and should bind us to each other. As a parent, it is clearer to me than ever before that children are more communication between the different members of the same family and between different families. After all, who of us parents don’t have people in their life that they would never have met if not for their children? These strong relationships are the Foundation of a strong, prosperous society, and our leaders would do well to encourage all of us to continue to build these funds, one child at a time.
Grace Emily stark holds a master’s degree in bioethics and policy in the health of the Neiswanger Institute for Bioethics at Loyola University Chicago. It is also in the public debate Linacre quarterly, Federalist, Daily alarm, national Catholic register, “Aletheia”, among other places.
Sourse: theamericanconservative.com
