How to avoid awkward situations for the newlyweds and their guests?
How to invite guests?
What is the best way to notify friends, relatives, and acquaintances about your upcoming wedding? Is it necessary to send out invitations?
Beautiful invitations are a way to show your guests your respect. You can choose traditional paper invitations sent by mail or courier, or use a convenient electronic mailing. The sooner the future couple takes care of this issue, the better. Usually, invitations are sent 2-3 months before the wedding, so that guests have enough time to organize their arrival, especially if they need to travel or take a vacation.
Do I need to make additional calls after the newlyweds have sent out the invitations?
Yes, it is usually desirable. No matter what the format of the celebration is — whether it is a buffet or a banquet where everyone has their own place — the newlyweds need to know the exact number of guests in order to plan everything well. The invitation usually indicates the date by which they are asked to respond, as well as a contact number or email address. If you have not received a response from any of the invitees by this date, it is worth calling or writing to them to clarify their presence. The contact person for responses is often the organizer or a person they trust, so that the bride and groom can take care of other wedding matters.
If you can't be at a wedding, how do you properly decline in such situations?
Yes, it is important to let the future spouses know as early as possible. You can either write to the future spouses about your cancellation or call them at the number listed on the invitation. A phone call is often the best option for in-person communication. Be sure to thank them for the invitation and briefly explain the reason for your cancellation, if appropriate and not too personal. For example, you can use the phrase: “Thank you very much for the invitation, but unfortunately I will not be able to attend your event for the following reason.” Good reasons include: departure, illness, urgent family circumstances, such as the loss of a relative, or a vacation that has already been planned. If you cannot attend the wedding, then according to the rules of etiquette, it would be a good gesture to send the newlyweds a gift to congratulate them and wish them happiness, although this is not a mandatory requirement. How the gift will be delivered to the newlyweds is a personal matter for everyone, you can always use the services of the post office or a courier.
It's rare for a family to invite all their relatives and friends to a wedding. Who should be invited and who shouldn't?
You are free to invite whomever you deem necessary, taking into account your capabilities and the format of the wedding. Unfortunately, it often happens that due to the limited number of seats or budget, we cannot invite even some close relatives. In such cases, there is no need to be offended, because each couple has its own circumstances. As for the presence of guests at the official ceremony (for example, at the registry office or on-site registration), it is often attended by the closest relatives and witnesses, and all other guests join the celebration. This decision is left to the discretion of the newlyweds and their preferences.
Seating rules
How to properly organize seating at the table?
Weddings are one of those formal events where the newlyweds are traditionally seated together, in the center of attention. At many other formal events, etiquette dictates that couples are often seated separately so that guests can meet new people and talk about different things. At a wedding, the seating of couples and other guests depends on the overall format and preferences of the newlyweds.
According to classic etiquette, guests are advised to be seated in a checkerboard pattern (man, woman, man, woman) so that everyone can communicate more. However, at modern weddings, preference is often given to seating married couples together or friends who know each other well, in order to ensure maximum comfort for them. The parents of the newlyweds are usually seated next to the bride and groom (usually the bride sits to the right of the groom), also following a well-thought-out order. Another convenient option is to seat guests at separate tables of several people, which helps to get to know new relatives or friends. When seating, it is important to take into account the common interests and relationships of the guests so that they have topics for conversation and comfortable communication.
Is it better to seat people by name?
It all depends on the banquet organizers. If the newlyweds decide to reserve seats at the table at their discretion, then you should put up cards. When there are many guests, it is better to hang a seating chart in the foyer. Someone must meet the guests at the door (relatives, host, special person), greet them, offer aperitifs, and help them find their way around the seating. If there are few guests and everyone has one table, you can do without a chart.
Is it okay to be late for a wedding?
It is better to arrive on time for a wedding. Being late for important events, especially a wedding, is disrespectful to the newlyweds and the organizers, so it is better to avoid it. If you understand that you will be late, try to minimize the delay and arrive as soon as possible, trying not to draw unnecessary attention to it. According to the rules of etiquette, it is best to arrive 10-15 minutes before the announced start of the event, so as not to interfere with the organizers completing the final preparations and having time to get oriented. If you arrived much earlier, it is worth waiting nearby, going about your business, but do not enter the banquet venue in advance, so as not to create inconvenience.
Myths about wedding gifts
How do you know how much to spend on a gift?
You choose the amount yourself, as much as you can afford. Newlyweds should never worry about someone giving them a cheap present.
What can't you give for a wedding?
As for gifts that should not be given, this is more a matter of personal preference and context, but there are some general recommendations. Avoid giving anything that could be too personal, offensive, or conflict with the couple's values (for example, gifts with political or religious overtones, if you are not sure about their views). Also, avoid giving things that the newlyweds already have or that conflict with their lifestyle. If the couple has made a wish list, it is worth focusing on it, because it is a list of their desires. However, if the gifts you have chosen are not on the list, but you are sure that they will be useful and desired, that is also acceptable. As for money, in some cultures, non-material gifts were traditionally preferred, but in the modern world, monetary gifts have become one of the most desirable and practical. This allows the couple to use the funds for their own needs or dreams, whether it is travel, buying a home or other significant expenses. Therefore, considering giving money as an “indecent gesture” or “degrading” is an outdated view. The main thing is sincerity and respect for the couple’s choice.
If we know people well, how to properly present a cash gift?
If you decide to give money, it is best to put it in a beautifully decorated envelope or a special card for a cash gift. It does not matter what bills you give, choose those that you have on hand. The main thing is that the gift looks neat. When handing over an envelope with money, in no case should you take out its contents and show them to everyone present. This is considered indecent and immodest. The gift should be given calmly and personally, wishing the newlyweds happiness.
When is the best time to give a gift, at the beginning of the festivities, in the middle?
Sometimes the event organizer may offer a special time for collecting gifts, passing by with a tray, especially for envelopes. However, according to modern rules, gifts are most often given at the beginning of the holiday, when guests arrive, because it is most convenient for everyone. The newlyweds should think about how this moment will be organized, perhaps by setting up a special area or table for gifts.
Of course, on such a day, the bride and groom do not look at or unpack the presents in detail, so as not to be distracted from the celebration. Their task is to thank the guests and hand the gifts over to assistants or to put them in a specially designated place. It is especially important that all gifts, including money envelopes, are handed over to reliable people who will take care of them.
Since gifts are not immediately considered at a wedding, each gift should be accompanied by a card with congratulations, wishes, and a signature or business card so that the newlyweds know who it is from. This will allow the newlyweds to later know which gift was given by whom.
If you are not sure when is the best time to present a gift, feel free to ask the newlyweds or the organizers. As already mentioned, presenting gifts at the entrance is often the most convenient option, because guests come with flowers, and sitting with a bouquet while waiting for the gift-giving ceremony is inconvenient.
Is it necessary to give flowers at a wedding?
By and large, there is nothing mandatory in terms of gifts. And yet flowers are welcome. But again, if you don't consider it necessary to buy a bouquet, that's your personal business.
Can I use gift lists?
Yes, gift lists (wish lists) are becoming increasingly popular, and many couples use them. However, it is important to consider that not all guests are ready to follow them. This is absolutely normal. A person may simply not have enough money for the chosen item, or the proposed options may not match their tastes. People of the older generation, most likely, will also not always be able to use such a hint. Regarding the algorithm itself: it is better to post lists on the Internet, on a special page or in the invitation, so that guests online can see what has already been chosen. By the way, there are situations when the couple is very wealthy and does not need any material gifts. If this point is clearly stated in the invitation (for example, “instead of gifts, we would be happy to donate to charity” or “your presence is enough for us”), it is important to respect the couple's wishes. In this case, flowers can be a nice but not mandatory gesture, or you can choose a charitable contribution, if this is indicated.
And how can you thank guests for their gifts after the celebrations?
At the end of the feast, the groom or both newlyweds should definitely thank the guests for coming to share their celebration, and separately for the gifts. As for further thanks, according to the rules of good taste, the newlyweds should send each guest a personal thank-you card within three months after the wedding. This can be a written message or a postcard expressing sincere gratitude for their presence and gift. Calling each guest the day after the wedding is unrealistic and not a common practice.
Toasting etiquette and celebration behavior
No wedding is complete without a toast, who should speak first?
The first toast is usually made by one of the hosts of the celebration, most often one of the parents of the newlyweds. It can be the father or mother, or both, because modern etiquette does not limit women in the ability to express congratulations and wishes. It is important that the person who feels comfortable and wants to speak takes the floor. In principle, all congratulations should be said only at will, you should not pressure the guests or demand some kind of fiery speech from them, because toasts are a voluntary matter. Those who plan to say a toast should prepare in advance so that the speech is sincere, short and not drawn out. A few sentences or a short, relevant anecdote is ideal. In no case should the toast contain jokes at someone's expense, so that none of those present feel embarrassed or humiliated.
How should guests behave properly at a wedding, and is it mandatory to participate in contests and dances?
When coming to a wedding, in addition to a gift and appropriate attire, we should also bring a good mood and readiness to celebrate. Even if you are currently feeling down, no one should guess about it, because someone else's wedding is not the time and place for your own suffering. It is important to take an active part in the general celebration – dancing, entertainment, jokes – to maintain an atmosphere of joy. However, if the contests seem vulgar, uncomfortable to you or you simply do not want to take part in them, you have every right to politely refuse. Even if the hosts try to “force” a person onto the stage, you can politely but firmly refuse without attracting unnecessary attention. You also need to be ready to communicate with strangers on abstract and neutral topics, avoiding hot-button issues of nationality, religion or politics. Your task is to help create a festive mood and ensure comfortable communication for everyone.
Remember that wedding etiquette is, above all, a manifestation of respect and sincerity, which creates an atmosphere of comfort and mutual understanding. By following these simple rules, you will not only avoid awkward situations, but also contribute to an unforgettable celebration, full of joy and warmth for the newlyweds and all those present.
Джерело: ukr.media
