It is a very common problem when a good, responsible, honest person puts in a lot of effort, but never receives gratitude and recognition. Their work is used, they ask for more. At the same time, they are supposedly on the sidelines, their merits are not seen. This is a fairly common situation in a career.
It is unprofitable to promote a responsible, diligent, positive employee in all respects. Who then will carry all this functionality? But there is another. The one who does everything rather mediocrely. But he knows how to beautifully present himself and his merits, loudly declare himself. That's how he gets laurels, honor and respect.
Seeing less competent but more vocal colleagues get praised or promoted can be extremely unfair. I remember once when a young employee who had just joined the team presented some of my work as his own, slightly embellishing it. Management was impressed by his “initiative”. This incident made me realize that being just a “good employee” is not enough, you also need to be an “advocate” for your own achievements.
There is a suitable parable on this subject.
In one garden there grew an apple tree. The apple tree was already many years old. Despite the fact that it was difficult for it, it gave a rich harvest every year. It didn't matter whether it was a rainy summer, whether there was a drought, whether pests appeared on its bark, whether it was a “poor” year – the apple tree still bore fruit.
Children ran up to it and picked rosy yellow apples with pink skins. The owner of the house came and gathered the harvest into huge baskets. The hostess cooked fragrant jam and made drinks from the apples.
The apple tree loved its owners and tried its best. But it was very sad that no one said thank you. No one ever thanked it. People didn't even think about how hard it was for it to bear fruit every year.
Feeling like your efforts are not noticed, or worse, not appreciated, can be extremely painful. It's like an emotional “emptiness” when you give your all and get silence in return. It can be worse than criticism, because criticism at least means you're being seen. A lack of gratitude often leads to resentment and disappointment, making you doubt your own worth.
And one day, a distant relative, an elderly wise old man, visited this garden. The tree thought that now was the right time to ask him a question. When he approached the apple tree, she asked the old man directly:
“Tell me, wise man. Why have I never received the gratitude of my masters for so many years? I give them many delicious apples every year. They eat them with pleasure, but they have never even said a simple “thank you” to me.”
This question is like a cry of the soul that each of us has probably asked ourselves at one time or another. “Why are my efforts not being seen?” The feeling that you are being used or that you are providing a service that is taken for granted can be very destructive. It is at such moments that you begin to think about your own boundaries and how much more you are willing to give without getting anything in return.
“Apple tree, it's simple. These people have developed the idea that you can't help but give them apples.”
What a simple yet profound truth! It explains so many situations in life: why we stop appreciating someone's constant support, our health that never fails, or even our everyday comforts. When something is always there, we start to take it for granted, forgetting the effort that goes into it.
Perhaps this story will tell someone that it's time to “shake things up” and turn the other way to those ungrateful people. As a rule, only after losing something, at least temporarily, does a person begin to appreciate it.
While a shake-up can be a risky move, sometimes it’s the only way to make others see your value. I personally found myself working overtime as the only expert in my field. It wasn’t until I took a long sick leave that my colleagues and management really noticed the lack of my contribution and when I returned, they began to value my efforts in a completely different way. It doesn’t always work, and there’s a risk of being replaced, but sometimes it’s necessary to show that you’re not an infinite resource for your own well-being.
