It all commenced… well, not with a meeting of minds, but rather with my arrival in the northern metropolis. Actually, that too was a meeting of minds, but not with a person, but instead with Russia's most gorgeous city, St. Petersburg, the renowned landmarks of which were the reason for my visit. After a walk along Nevsky Prospekt, the sidewalks along the waterways, a boat ride on the Meteor, tours of the Hermitage and Peterhof, I fell head over heels for this metropolis on my very first day! On day two, I began to ponder the possibility of remaining there, and on the third, I located housing in the form of a rented room for 2,000 rubles in the dwelling of a pre-revolutionary elderly lady.
I phoned my mother, telling her I'd be delayed somewhat, and proceeded to the closest internet cafe to search for job vacancies. Having graduated from the Faculty of Foreign Languages in Samara, the most straightforward career path for me was as a translator or a secretary/assistant with German. However, to my profound dismay (and astonishment), the northern metropolis wasn't particularly in need of such experts—following each job interview, I was instructed to await a phone call at home, which essentially equated to a rejection. Eight days of job hunting and interviews had yielded no results; my vitality was dwindling, and my funds were diminishing even more rapidly. I had to reduce my desired salary to unearth something. However, on the search results webpage, I was more preoccupied with romance than employment—at the base of the webpage, a banner displayed succinct profiles of men with hyperlinks to dating platforms. Igor, 28, Sergey, 30, Andrey, 26—and all hailing from St. Petersburg! From that instant onward, I directed my mental faculties toward online dating.
I longed to reside in this metropolis, yet my employment prospects weren't panning out—implying that I'd be compelled to employ my persuasive talents and attractive appearance to realize my ambitions. I promptly clicked on the hyperlink and was redirected to a St. Petersburg dating platform (I cannot recall the precise name). I browsed through twenty or thirty profiles, and sensed a blend of apprehension and thrill. After all, my preceding online dating encounters had been recreational, not a technique for survival; and the reality that I needed material advantages from my dates transformed me into something akin to an impostor. Then again, what could be amiss with a single lady enjoying a date in a charming dining establishment with a respectable gentleman?
Upon initially encountering them, I wasn't notably intrigued by their individualities. I'd only examine their images and age, after which I'd transmit a standard email along the lines of, “I was instantly drawn to you. You radiate an open demeanor, which is scarce in today's society, where everyone feigns to be someone they aren't.” I garnered a reply to each email—most probably attributable to my appealing image against the backdrop of a Sochi sunset. By the way, I predominantly corresponded with the men I was attracted to via email, as that grants me ample duration to deliberate my utterances and actions, and the gentleman is more disposed to ponder my hints and insinuations.
Developments transpired at an accelerated pace! On the third day following our online acquaintance, a specific 26-year-old named Alexey persistently sought to convene at a rather exquisite bar, asserting that “verbal communication in person is considerably more stimulating.” In the recent past, I'd consistently declined such proposals until he relented, but currently I was constrained by time—pardon the acquisitive essence of life, I merely wished to consume something other than pasta. And since a respectable female wouldn't concur to anything on the initial occasion, I proclaimed that I was unavailable to meet at seven in the evening as I wouldn't have sufficient time to partake in dinner subsequent to work. Alexey was even elated by this and commenced attempting to convince me to “relish a superb dinner, practically by candlelight.” Following approximately ninety seconds, I “conceded”!
As is routine at the commencement of a liaison, I was roughly ten minutes behind schedule for the rendezvous at Kazan Cathedral. Alexey was a conventional individual lacking a girlfriend, possessing average physical attributes, and having achieved unremarkable feats, yet the bar proved to be genuinely inviting, even elegant, especially for encountering someone face to face. I was significantly anxious en route to the meeting, but I now unwound, as Alexey was experiencing unease for both of us. Greek salad, poultry, and apple pie accompanied by tea established the ideal atmosphere for my disposition – I conversed so jovially and delightfully that I appeared to be the most contented individual globally.
Upon being apprised of my predicament in St. Petersburg, Alexey virtually initiated tearing at his coat, asserting that he was my singular deliverer and that he alone could resolve all my quandaries. Subsequently came the discourse of fate and anecdotes regarding celebrities who had apparently conspired to unite us. I was alarmed by such compulsion and commenced emphasizing that I would resolve my predicaments independently… However, to no avail! While accompanying me to the subway station, Alexey proposed that we attend a film in a few days, and thirty minutes after we separated, I received a text communication on my cellular telephone concerning a ten-dollar top-up. At that juncture, I detested myself, castigating myself for merely exploiting the gentleman for my own benefit… Nevertheless, subsequent to diligently scrutinizing my actions from the instant we encountered each other to the instant we parted, I discerned no transgression within them—in reality, I had articulated explicitly to the gentleman on multiple occasions that I had no need of his assistance… Oh, to perdition with it! A considerate gentleman, agreeable exchange, a delightful dinner and a splendid sentiment – for a flawless evening, it would be pleasant to amble along the evening thoroughfares of the northern metropolis!
I awakened the subsequent morning as a transformed individual—no remnant of the me from the preceding day. At ten o'clock, I proceeded to the internet cafe to persist in communicating with the other gentlemen and cultivating new acquaintances. However, on this occasion, I was the one insinuating a prompt encounter—allurements such as “it's tedious to remain at home following work” were immediately embraced by the men—accompanied by a recommendation to venture out somewhere. The masculine gender was considerably more zealous to transmute the virtual familiarity into reality. I acquiesced reluctantly, frequently citing the complexity of journeying from work to the designated meeting place, as there was a dearth of public transportation. More seasoned gentlemen promptly extended offers to defray the expenses for a taxi; I contested somewhat, then concurred, as if beseeching a favor. That morning, I trialed this technique for the inaugural occasion—when Alexander proposed that we engage in clubbing, I responded by citing the impossibility of commuting there and back, particularly as the club typically remains open until three in the morning. Sasha virtually implored me to attend, insisting on paying for the taxi both ways—and following ten minutes of dialogue, I relented…
Unsurprisingly, I didn't avail myself of a taxi, as I could readily commute there via subway. Subsequent to the preliminary compliments and remarks regarding how exceptional our encounter was, Alexander transferred to me an envelope containing currency, accepting no objections. I blushed momentarily and concealed it within my handbag. I was astounded by myself and my actions, yet the exhilaration was more potent! We didn't genuinely converse at the club due to the deafening music, yet we spent an enjoyable time participating in a couple of games of bowling, during which we imbibed champagne to commemorate our acquaintance.
Alexander possessed minimal knowledge regarding me, as did I regarding him—he was employed in the bank's credit division, aged 29 years, and was unmarried. His economics academics and postgraduate studies at Leningrad State University had supplanted the majority of his personal existence, and encountering me was providential (the sort of absurdity most gentlemen employ on females early on). Analogous to Alexey, he proposed assisting me in resolving my predicaments, yet I retorted that at 22, I hadn't yet transcended my youthful idealism and aspired to attain everything autonomously, notwithstanding it not materializing. Nevertheless, I enquired if he was cognizant of where I could secure a respectable apartment for approximately $300. Sasha pledged to contact his associates and acquaintances, recommended that we attend the theater the subsequent week, and ensconced me within a taxi. As soon as the chauffeur commenced departure, I promptly modified the destination to my street and curtailed the amount accordingly. Upon arriving home, I inaugurated the envelope, discovered 1,000 rubles, and smirked derisively—could one even refer to that as remuneration? Or the price for a pleasant acquaintance?
The preliminary funds proved invaluable – I was diminishing in provisions and internet access. I resolved not to unwind and devoted the ensuing few days to the same routine: breakfast, online dating, textual communication, organizing dates, midday meal, interpersonal encounters, date + evening meal, recapitulating the day, encompassing financial aspects. Two days subsequent to our initial date, Alexey contacted me and proposed persisting in our acquaintance at 6:00 PM by observing a romantic comedy on the extensive screen. I requested to reschedule the date for a couple of hours, as I already possessed an engagement timetabled for that juncture with a 32-year-old designated Ivan, who is employed by a corporation installing plastic windows. I readily employed the “taxi” method from my “suburb,” which within a week evolved into my principal wellspring of capital. The “scarcity of funds” method on my cellular telephone also proved efficacious – promptly I was capable of conversing without limit.
Presently I endeavored to disperse our online interactions over a week or two, and solely thereafter arrange a tangible meeting. Throughout this interim, the gentleman would entirely mature, invest a substantial quantity of his duration and contemplation into interacting with me, and was reticent to relinquish the opportunity, which empowered him to stipulate any parameters he desired.
Following encountering (both digitally and physically) a courteous gentleman designated Ilya, a manager at a computer establishment, I'd absorbed sufficient knowledge regarding advanced technology to conceive an alternative means of incentivizing gentlemen to furnish me with currency. The crux is that individuals are considerably more amenable to executing tasks for themselves than for others—I endeavored to situate him within that mindset. For instance, subsequent to encountering him, I'd communicate online for a week or two, subsequently vanish for a handful of days, and upon him contacting me, I'd convey that my modem was inoperable. And not merely a commonplace modem, but an internal one, the sole one that operated appropriately on my defective telephone line; my companion would aid me in procuring one as soon as I obtained my paycheck, which would transpire in approximately three weeks. In lieu of feeling disheartened, the gentlemen were exceedingly delighted by this, that is, they were gratified that they could facilitate me with financial assistance, and to accomplish this, I'd be obliged to encounter them face to face. And that is how it transpired – a date at a tavern, alcohol, a proposition of currency, a declination, an insistent proposition of currency: Ultimately, I acquiesced solely on account of my aspiration to execute it his way… I yearned to fervently persist in our acquaintance…
I averted encountering Alexander, citing a deficiency of duration attributable to the housing quandary. In each electronic communication, I literally presented the query straightforwardly: either he facilitate me in locating a commendable apartment for rental at $300, or we would be precluded from convening with each other. He must have experienced considerable activity, on account of presently he transmitted me a duo of telephone digits. One apartment was instantaneously dismissed due to its excessive remoteness from the subway, yet I arranged a viewing with the proprietors of the alternative that very day. I commuted via the subway down the red route and discerned what I anticipated observing—a well-maintained one-bedroom dwelling, furnished and freshly renovated. I refrained from hesitating extensively; I remitted a month's rental immediately and obtained the keys from the proprietor.
Lilacs were burgeoning outwardly, their aroma permeating the area. I collapsed onto the couch, retrieved the telephone, and contacted my recent paramour, who'd guaranteed to arrive promptly at my initial entreaty for succor. I was absolved from shrieking; I merely enquired pointedly if he was acquainted with anyone who could assist me in relocating a handful of bags from my antiquated domicile to the rented apartment. He did indeed possess precisely such a companion—himself. I discovered this amusement to be quite comical. As promptly as we commemorated the housewarming gala and bid adieu, I forthwith contacted Alexander and summoned him to a dining establishment at my personal expense as an expression of gratitude. We imbibed French vino to celebrate the apartment and our familiarity. Presently I could afford it, as per my estimations, in a solitary month of dating practice, I'd accrued approximately $850, $300 of which was allocated towards the apartment. I consumed sustenance predominantly on dates, and I utterly overlooked the cellular telephone invoice—I merely utilized it. My devotees garnered agreeable interaction, and I garnered not solely that, but furthermore the chance to reside in an astounding and particularly magnificent metropolis.
The sole lingering inconvenience was to eradicate the exigency of journeying to the internet cafe—it's considerably more pleasurable to be seated at a computer at home than amidst a cohort of adolescents pleasuring themselves to pornography. Consequently, on my subsequent date with Ilya, I lamented to him and, considering that he is employed within the computer sector, beseeched him to unearth an economical pre-owned laptop with minimalist attributes. The subsequent day, he contacted me betimes and conveyed that everything was finalized… I responded that I was unavailable to converse presently, but would recontact him in a couple of hours… We convened at the cafe where we'd recently encountered each other personally. He advertised and handed me a well-worn Toshiba laptop. Upon my enquiry regarding the expenditure, he asserted that he procured it completely gratis (which I earnestly questioned), and, furthermore, it possessed a “depleted battery.” Ilya furthermore frequented my renovated apartment, not as a mover, but in the capacity of an electronics technician—subsequent to installing and configuring the internet access, I prepared him some tea and informed him that I was compelled to depart for employment and would recontact him upon my availability.
Subsequent to an additional couple of months, the requirement for recurrent encounters dissipated, as I was scarcely capable of differentiating one Andrey from another, interchanged telephone numerals, forgot appointments, and generally became a victim of my personal actions. I was obligated to sever contact with a subset of the gentlemen on account of their persistent proposals to “become better acquainted,” as this was not my preliminary strategy. Moreover, whenever a gentleman alluded to becoming closer, I'd vanish for a couple of days to forestall him from overstepping my demarcations. The greater the reliance within the rapport, the less a gentleman endeavors to impress a female, considering that his objective has already been attained, and there exists no necessity to exert oneself (as a principle, the average female permits a gentleman into her universe within a fortnight of encountering each other).
Occasionally, I modified my principal methods for extracting currency from gentlemen. For instance, when I already possessed a diminutive wholesale depot of fictitious modems, I contrived a novel narrative – on this occasion pertaining to a sickly feline who had recently undergone a complex procedure at a veterinary clinic. The initial individual I resolved to trial this upon was a kayaker and mountain trekker – I surmised that a devotee of wildlife and the Discovery Channel would empathize ardently with my Cassiopeia. I conveyed to Oleg that I was incapable of retaining my feline, as subsequent to the procedure she necessitated injections every four hours for a week. If I were not financially constrained, I'd entrust her to a boarding facility with high-quality care for the duration of the day. Oleg promptly proclaimed: “Vik, if you designate me as your ward's godfather, I’ll furnish her with vacations anywhere globally for eternity… Succinctly, are you capable of borrowing currency from anyone presently?.. Convey the beauty to the shelter, convene at Nevsky by 5:30 PM, I’ll underwrite the go-karting excursion and child support for your mustachioed one…” I never even attempted to contest with Oleg, considering that everything he decided, in his estimation, should constitute legislation for everyone…
Throughout my entire existence, I'd never encountered such social involvement as I did during those six months of incessant dating and interaction with the opposing gender. Yet each day I awakened with the notion that this was anomalous and unsustainable. The significant predicament was that infrequently could any employment tender me as much latitude and income as dating. I resolved to scrutinize gentlemen employed by German or Russian-German corporations, considering that solely expatriates in St. Petersburg could disburse an equitable remuneration. Four months subsequently, an acquaintance (who had contacted me via ICQ) secured me a position as a translator at the office of a German household chemicals manufacturer. For the inaugural occasion in an extended duration, I felt buoyant and stable, and resolved to discontinue dating irrevocably, which culminated in me persisting in dating on my very initial work evening. Dating evolved into something between a manic avocation and a drug for me.
