Every person periodically asks himself the question: why do others work less and receive more? Why does injustice exist on earth: “money for money”, “if you haven't lived a lot, you shouldn't even start”, “for some people everything – both love and herring, and for others – only one herring”… the matter is not in karma or fate, but in one's own thoughts and beliefs, informs Ukr.Media.
I am drawing you…
First, everything happens in our heads and only then manifests itself in the outside world. Everything we believe in, what we are convinced of, finds confirmation in real events that happen to each of us. That is why each person has their own experience of relationships (with people, with money) and often rigid attitudes – this is white, and this is black, I saw, I know!
If a girl is sure that men cannot be trusted, she will repeatedly attract into her life those who will deceive, frame, lie – she will take them cheaply. And until she gets tired and audits all her beliefs, attitudes, and thoughts about men, she will step on the same rake until the end of the century…
The same goes for money: if a person is sure that happiness does not lie in them, that the rich also cry, and that being wealthy is a shame when there are so many poor people in the world, their financial capacity will tend to zero.
Money is always not enough for those who have complex and contradictory feelings towards it, are afraid, for example, of poverty and unconsciously program themselves for it. Such people block the pleasure of spending finances and the enjoyment of the process itself: having earned, they go to spend to please themselves and their loved ones. Forces are spent on saving, maintaining what they have.
Money is always not enough for those who have complex and contradictory feelings towards it, are afraid, for example, of poverty and unconsciously program themselves for it.
In a permanent lack of funds are those who worship them, who treat them as a master, not a slave. Who live to work (workaholics, hello!), and not the other way around — work to live well. This is a dangerous position that does not lead to prosperity. Money does not like those who despise it, considering it beneath their dignity to think and talk about it. It does not respect those who feel guilty when asked a simple question, where and how to earn money.
Say out loud the phrases “money is not the main thing”, “it is better to be cheap and angry”, “either freedom or money”, “it is better to be poor but honest”, “if you are rich, then you are a thief”, “money is not a spiritual concept, it is evil!”, “Being poor is fate”, “having money means not having happiness”, “not bread alone”…
No one was mentioned? Did the voice of mom or dad, grandma or grandpa sound inside your head? We have ideas about everything in the world, formed by adults who were significant to us in our distant childhood. Did you think that we had figured it all out ourselves? No! Say the same phrases out loud again – and feel their weight. Can there be a place for easy money in an overloaded space? No!
If you are convinced, following your parents, that you should work from morning to night, that it is enough to make ends meet, and that luxury is synonymous with immorality, then this is exactly the way your life circumstances will develop. It is not easy to realize, but this is exactly how it all happens.
Carry your money…
It seems strange and incomprehensible that you can work 24/7, literally not seeing a white light, and the money is deceiving, it does not come. Either the salary is small, and the bosses are in no hurry to raise it, then the career stalls, then the business collapses… Sometimes people come to a psychologist for such a reason with a question: “all my efforts are in vain. Others are getting richer, and I am getting poorer. What can be changed and how?”.
The good news is that change is possible. Adjust your life until it suits you. The bad news is that old, ineffective settings need to be worked on carefully. They just won't go away!
You can start by analyzing your parents' relationship with money. Remember everything your mom and dad, grandparents, and grandparents said about this topic. Write down on a piece of paper all your family's beliefs about wealth, prosperity, the lifestyle of wealthy people, luxury, and a high standard of living.
You can start by analyzing your relationship with your parents' money.
How often have you heard from your parents: “there is no money!”? This phrase programs life. It's said and done! “It's expensive”, meaning bad. “It's cheap” – meaning good. This is how the habit of poverty is formed (“Let us be poor, but proud!”), the attitude that being poor is good. “Only books and education make sense” – the devaluation of financial well-being. And so on “all rich people are stupid”, “if chickens don't peck at money, then you're a thief!”, “Mom and I don't inject to satisfy your desires”, “there is no money, but we sleep peacefully!”. And the main pearl of Soviet times – “money doesn't buy happiness” – have you ever heard it?
If similar phrases were part of your family's everyday life, then you shouldn't be surprised that subconsciously you don't want to be rich. Not only that! Money scares you, it is associated with difficulties, guilt, and shame.
If you ask such a person how much they need to be happy, they might name a certain amount. But they won't be able to clearly answer the question of how you'll spend it on yourself and, most importantly, where you'll keep your savings.
Dreams revolve around the theme of children: “I'll buy them a house, ten cars and a horse on top.” And the issue of safety causes horror: “they'll be robbed, they'll be killed!” After all, big money is unconsciously associated with danger.
If your parents and other significant people did not show pleasure from the process of spending, did not treat money lightly, were always saving, scolded you for buying “nonsense”, gave money too much importance (“it's not enough again, even if you shoot yourself!”), then your relationship with them will be tense and scary.
Creed
Sometimes a person does not want to work, improve their qualifications, develop in their chosen direction, but expects a lot from life. They are sure that they deserve better, and literally tear others apart, demanding what they want. Sometimes it works, and there is someone willing to support, provide, and give. There is nothing wrong with this, except for the lack of security. This “someone” can disappear at any moment, change their mind, or stop wanting to provide financial support. It is useful to realize this in order to later do without making claims to yourself, others, and the world as a whole.
But it happens the other way around: a person is a professional, constantly improving, learning, and raising their qualifications, but the price for their services does not increase, it freezes at the minimum. What's the point here?
Again, it's in the mental attitudes. If parents considered it indecent to argue over money, talk about it, name a price for their work (“don't worry about it! Take it, we're friends!”) or lend money and not get it back, the child grows up with the conviction that this is exactly what is right and what should be done.
No matter how great a specialist he is, he will rate his work very low. Because the topic of money is taboo, it carries an unpleasant smell. As if “I'm bad when I'm interested in payment.”
For a while, for any child, the most important adults are gods. The reasons for the lack of prosperity in the family should be sought through the attitudes of relatives.
For example, your dad spent his youth and adulthood trying to get into business, but he failed, trusting people too much. At home, he and his mom bitterly talked about how money had robbed him of friends, free time, and led to a heart attack…
A chain has formed in the child's head: money is evil, dangerous. In the future, the child will unconsciously avoid large sums in every possible way. He will get used to devaluing himself and his knowledge so that no one will think of paying him generously.
If your parents didn't show any pleasure in the spending process, didn't treat money lightly, were always saving, and scolded you for buying “nonsense,” then your relationship with them will be strained.
If you are also unhappy with your financial situation, look in your family history for prohibitions, blocks, and anything that prevents you from accepting money easily and joyfully.
Maybe in childhood you were taught to think that money should be saved: “spend it on stupid desires – fools!”. A habit of too serious, rational attitude towards money has formed. From the ego-position of the father, they generally come into our lives with a creak. But in the ego-position of the child, when even at sixty we have a whole list of desires, money materializes in space and time. You can try!
