And the most interesting thing: they give from the heart. Only sometimes this heart is clearly lost somewhere between the “70% Off” section and the shelf with long-standing things in the closet.
And yes, almost every woman will remember at least one holiday when under the Christmas tree she was not waiting for joy, but… a life lesson. Let's be honest: New Year is a holiday of miracles, but sometimes miracles happen precisely in the sense that how could such a gift be given at all?
A friend of mine told me that she once received a huge set of anti-cellulite creams from her husband for New Year's. The full range: gel, scrub, warming mousse, and some other thing that, supposedly, should make the skin “sing.” But it wasn't the skin that sang after that, but she cried from resentment. Because any cosmetic gift that begins with the words “fights against…” automatically turns into resentment. Do you want to give a woman a remedy “against something”? Better give a bottle of champagne – it will definitely cheer her up.
There is also a story from the series “more dear to the heart than the wallet.” A husband gave his wife a toy vacuum cleaner – “in memory of how she dreamed of having one just as big.” He thought it was cute. She thought how he would… well, you get the idea. And people really think that symbolic gifts are sweet romance. But if you want romance, it looks a little different: at least a bouquet, not mini-appliances from a children's store.
But the strangest story came from a neighbor. She receives a New Year's… calendar with cats. Every year. Fifteen years in a row. The same type of calendar, the same format, the same printing. The only thing that changes is the cats. A gift from her son-in-law. She no longer knows how to hint to him that these calendars can be pasted over the apartment. And he is sincerely sure that he is doing a good deed. “You love cats!” he says. She does. But not enough to live in a house that looks like a temple for cat lovers.
A plaid that survived the USSR… my friend got it from her mother-in-law. A plaid that, judging by its appearance, was bought back in 1989 and kept “for a special occasion.” It smelled of mothballs, the past century, and disappointment. My mother-in-law proudly said, “Real wool!” And she thought, “Yes, and a real allergy.” The plaid was then used… to cover a dog in a car. The most useful use.
“What is this, a hint?” Many women received this gift option, and I was one of them. SCALE. New, beautiful, glass. At first I decided that it was a joke. Then — that it was a provocation. And then I realized that it was reality, because the husband also said: “You said that you wanted to monitor your diet.”
Quite often, women receive gifts of inappropriate size (usually on the smaller side), men explain this by motivation… After such gifts, the man usually has to look for motivation.
Another friend of mine got a set of towels from her husband. They were beautiful and high-quality, but as a New Year's gift… she didn't expect this. She had been trying all year, and he decided that she would be happy with the textiles. The friend says that she didn't even know how to react. On the one hand, it's really a useful thing. On the other, it feels like you're only seen as a housewife, not a woman.
“My mother-in-law gave me a Soviet tea set” — well, this is a classic of the genre for many. As a rule, it's huge, heavy, and ugly. I keep thinking: why do people give things that they themselves just feel sorry to throw away? And this seems to be the most common story: gifts “from stocks.” The person didn't use them, they don't need them — so why not give them? And the fact that a gift should be for the recipient, and not “to arrange something unnecessary,” — it seems that no one remembers.
Gifts like anti-wrinkle cream are also surprising. A woman already knows that she has wrinkles – she doesn't need to be reminded of it on a holiday. And the gift was supposedly “from the heart”. But inside there is an unpleasant residue. Because cosmetics “for problems” are not a gift, they are a hint.
One of my friends has three children. And every year it's the same scenario. Two daughters ask: Mom, what do you want? And they give her what she likes: tea, a soft scarf, cozy things. And her son always buys something at the last minute – just about anything. It's a candle for 99 hryvnias, a keychain, or cheap socks. She's not offended. She's just sad that even adult children sometimes treat their mother as an “automatic figure” who can be given anything.
And how many such stories are there!
Every year I am more and more convinced: the problem is not in the price. Not in the scale. Not in the amount of glitter.
The problem is inattention. The fact that many people don't know how to see a person.
For women, a gift is a sign: they noticed us, they thought about us, they took the time to show us. And sometimes that is more than enough for them than any “expensive” surprise.
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