I'm still far from 40, but I want to tell you about my mother. She is now 56 years old. About 12 years ago she broke up with her husband, that is, my father, whose marriage was not happy. They lived together for a long time, but my father drank a lot, did not like and did not know how to earn money, and the family with two children was completely dependent on my mother.
She had to work two or even three jobs so that no one needed anything. I remember my mother at that time – she would come home from work exhausted, irritated, constantly quarreling with my father, and I would also get scolded by my mother for any offenses…
Now my mother is retired. But don't think that she is literally a pensioner who sits at home and knits socks. Not at all! She is a positive, cheerful woman, she is engaged in her small business, which brings her great moral satisfaction, and also provides, albeit insignificant, but stable income.
She gets up in the morning when she wants (for the first time in her life!!!), meets with her friends. We joke and laugh all the time, we never argue, unlike in the past. Mom is full of energy, always full of ideas. For the first time in her life, she started going to get manicures and paid doctors (something she never allowed herself before, because at first she was thinking not about herself, but about what to buy for the children), she can afford a more expensive blouse and a good renovation in the apartment. Previously, all this was unattainable for her both due to lack of money and lack of time.
Many times in recent years I have heard from my mother how glad she was that she decided to get a divorce. Her life became calm, without constant quarrels. And when she left work, her joy simply knew no bounds – she had a lot of time for herself, time that she did not have either at 25 or at 40. We, the children, have grown up and moved away, we no longer need to be provided for. Therefore, now my mother lives for herself. She has a loved one.
In conclusion, I want to say: everything is in your hands. You don't have to give up on yourself, no matter how old you are, you don't have to put up with an unloved husband or a boring job. Nowadays, there are thousands of opportunities to look good and feel good: you can go dancing or fitness, you can save up money and go on a trip, you can learn to draw by enrolling in some art studio, or you can even move to another city/country and start a new life. Anything!
The main thing is desire.
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Is there any point in staying married “for the sake of the family” if it only brings exhaustion, or is it worth choosing yourself even in adulthood?
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✨ Choose your own happiness 🏚️ Suffer for the sake of your family 🤔 I have my own story
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✨ Choose your own happiness 100% 🏚️ Suffer for the sake of your family 0% 🤔 I have my own story 0% 💡
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