My mother has been setting the table for holidays all her life. So that everyone has enough to eat, they take it with them, and what they don't take they have to eat for another three days. Otherwise, it's not a holiday.
When I first started living on my own, my home habits carried me into adulthood.
Everyone who enters the house must be fed. If they refuse, convince them and feed them anyway. If a stranger has come on business, you can leave them alone. But you should offer tea and cookies. There’s no point in talking about holidays: at least three salads, the same number of appetizers, preferably two hot dishes and two desserts. This is a very modest table — yes, sitting down for no reason. For the New Year, we multiply everything by three.
I lived like this for several years and couldn't even understand why I was getting so irritated. But eventually I did. And then it became easier.
Generous home
For a while, friends would come to my place to eat. In the first years of independent life, few people know how to cook, and there is no money to eat out all the time. A bowl of soup is not much. For me, it's a penny, and the person is full.
I didn't feel sorry for the bowl of soup—I don't feel sorry for it now.
But eventually I felt sorry for myself. I was just tired of being a housewife for everyone indiscriminately and cooking all the time. Yes, I cooked primarily for myself — but I would eat my pot of soup for four days, and a couple of friends who came over for dinner would shorten that period to two. Then back to the stove.
The Curse of the Festive Table
I hated the holidays pretty quickly. First you drag yourself around the shops, carrying heavy bags. You cook for hours, or even days. Then you set the table and watch with pleasure as your guests eat.
Then you fall asleep in the corner because you're tired. It doesn't matter, when it's time to clean up and wash the dishes, you'll definitely be woken up.
The cafe is closed, the cook is tired.
I didn't know what to do with it. So I just stopped inviting guests. We would meet at restaurants, go for walks, or visit someone else's house — and someone else would cook there too.
After a few years, I realized: I would be happy to host friends again – but I would no longer feed them.
It turned out to be quite simple.
You say: “If you want to drink tea, grab some cookies,” “I don't have any food, we can order delivery,” “Each of you bring one dish, and we'll set the table.”
It works great. Besides, my friends have grown up by now and are starting to understand that the cafeteria closed for a reason.
I'm glad to see my friends at home — but I don't need to feed them anymore. And this realization has made my life a lot easier. And has relieved me of the fatigue and irritability from the mere thought of the holiday.
I haven't stopped cooking altogether, but now I do it out of desire, not out of a sense of duty.
And most importantly: when people come to visit me, they come to chat, not to chew in silence.
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🍗 Only a generous table ✨ Communication is more important than food 🤔 Depends on the company
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Terrible Owl 🍗 Only a generous table 02/13/2026 21:02 What is “feeding guests”, the author probably thinks that half a Borshchagovka and seven spoons are emphasized from the belly… so come my condolences + Reply Mudry Lev ✨ Communication is more important than food 02/12/2026 11:15 when I see a table that is bursting with dishes, I feel bad. I always invited guests to one dish———mushroom soup, some pierogis, fish soup or new cookies. Everyone was always satisfied. + Reply Kremeznyy Kasatka ✨ Communication is more important than food 02/11/2026 17:55 And my wife and I have another “locust” – my parents. In the warm season, they often go to the dacha. And when they go home on Sunday evening, they stop by our place – supposedly to bring vegetables, but in reality, as I understand it, to eat. Some time ago, it happened that when they came, I always offered dinner to all three of them (their sister also goes with them). But this quickly became a habit for them – since the mother doesn't like to cook, she pretends to be busy all weekend. Meanwhile, the family is “on the back burner”. But when they come to our place, all three eat as if they have to be hungry for a few more days. So, so that they don't, banally, eat everything (or most of) that we have fed ourselves for the next week – I cook separately, also with them in mind. So, Sunday is usually not a day off for me, but a “day at the stove”. Can you advise me how to celebrate loved ones? I don't feel sorry for the food – I'm just terribly tired 😢 1 + Reply