I came across a revelation from a woman who tells her life story and asks for advice in desperation, Ukr.Media reports.
A long marriage, more than twenty years “like God in his bosom”. And then a crisis occurs, where you have to survive. Suddenly it turns out that the man is not ready for the role of crisis manager. He hides in a shell, gets lost, becomes weak. And the woman grows steel balls, takes on a double load, pulls this locomotive and at the same time destroys the man morally.
They dispersed. No one was holding anyone back.
Half a year passes, the woman lives separately, the child is already an adult. Life is settled, the crisis is over. Our heroine exhaled, took off the harness of the draft mare, and her libido awakened.
She wants to be a girl again. She begins to look for hidden meanings in the fact that her ex-husband regularly transfers half of his salary to her, sometimes brings alcohol or appliances, stands on the doorstep, hides his eyes, talks about politics, and quickly runs away.
I read all this and think about how much we love to romanticize male guilt.
For some reason, we decide that these awkward visits with a bottle of wine and silent transfers of money to a card are a form of hidden love. That he is simply afraid. That he is embarrassed to approach first.
And now she writes him a neutral message with an offer to have coffee, and he reads it and doesn't respond.
It's breathtaking. But it's very sobering.
Let's face it. This man is not playing complex psychological games. His behavior is not Morse code, with which he taps out “come back to me.” This is a banal price for his own peace of mind.
He feels guilty for blowing up at the hardest moment. He knows she dragged her family down. And now he's just paying that emotional and very real debt.
He arrived, paid tribute in the form of money and gifts, made sure that everyone was alive and well, and quickly fled to his comfort zone until they started sawing him off, reworking him, or forcing him to be a locomotive again.
She's not drawn to the man of the present. She's drawn to that ghost of the past, when they exchanged quotes from books and had holidays for two. But that man and that relationship are no more.
There is a woman who has learned to live alone, and there is a closed introvert who is simply comfortable at a distance, and maybe he has another family that our heroine simply does not know about.
Sometimes you don't need to fix a broken cup. And you shouldn't look for passion where there is only a desire to atone for guilt.
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⚡ Readers' Pulse
What would you advise this woman: to close this door forever or to give her hope for a second chance?
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🕊️ Let go of the past ☕ Try again ✍️ I have my own advice
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