My mother and father divorced when I was 12. I learned from an overheard conversation that the reason was my father's infidelity. I even saw that aunt – a spunky blonde who worked with him at the factory.
When my parents were still living together, we met her several times while walking with my dad. Each time, she would sigh loudly and marvel at the coincidence, ask me about my studies, and be unnaturally fascinated by everything I said.
After the divorce, my father went to live with his parents in another city, soon got married (not to the same aunt, but to another), and we began to see each other rarely. My mother lived alone and was terribly proud of her integrity, constantly telling everyone and everyone how she had not forgiven and did not want to live with it (here she usually added a strong word). I was also proud of her: what a great mother she was – determined, brave! But, having grown up, she radically changed her mind.
No one will get better.
I got married at 23, and on my wedding day I told my husband that if I found out about the cheating, I wouldn't forgive him. He just laughed: we were head over heels in love with each other and were sure that it would always be that way.
Five years later, when I was on maternity leave with our firstborn, I accidentally found his playful correspondence on social media with a former classmate. A scandal broke out immediately. My husband tried to explain that there was nothing wrong with it – it was just flirting, nothing more. I sobbed that emotional betrayal was even worse than physical betrayal, and kicked him out with a suitcase. I was furious for a few days, thinking that I would continue to live like a mother. And then I thought about it.
Well, she kicked out her father – so what? Young, attractive, left alone – there were no men willing to marry a divorced woman with a child.
I grew up in a single-parent family, I hardly know my father – we only call each other on the holidays. Who got better from this? Was this unpleasant traitor worth such sacrifices? And is flirting on the Internet worth ruining your life? In the end, we made up, my husband promised that this would never happen again. But, of course, he couldn't help himself.
I will decide everything myself.
Three years later, the situation repeated itself — this time, the message “Good night, my love” appeared on the phone screen. Flirting again, this time with a colleague. It didn't turn out to be a good night — I threw the phone against the wall, slammed the door, and walked the streets for two hours, but we made up pretty quickly.
After the situation repeated itself a year later, I realized that my husband would not change. We even went to a family psychologist — and it was all in vain. I had two options left: spy, monitor, forbid, control — or accept the situation.
If a man wants to, he will find an opportunity to cheat – at work, on a business trip, anywhere.
His close friend, for example, lies to his wife that he is going to the suburbs to visit his grandmother and sister. He really does go – for a few hours, takes a photo with his grandmother and sends it to his wife. Then he says goodbye to his family and goes to the hotel, where a colleague is waiting for him.
I think everyone around me has stories like this. So when my husband started staying late at work one day, I set a condition for him: I don't follow, I don't check, I don't control him, and he clearly separates family and everything else. If he falls in love seriously, let him leave, if it's just an affair, let him just hide it, and I won't check.
We have been living in this format for eight years, and I have never regretted it. I feel when he starts another affair, and I see when it ends. And you know, there is nothing wrong with that: he is a caring father, adores his sons, a breadwinner, a helper. I will never destroy a family because of a third-party divorcee, like my mother did. I want to be happy and calm, not proud. And so far I have succeeded.
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🧘♀️ Wise position ❌ This is self-deception 🤔 I have a different opinion
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Bearded Pike 🧘♀️ Wise Position 09.02.2026 12:37 I am a man. I am 45, and I have never cheated on my wife, although I very easily find a common language with literally anyone. By the way, there are also no male friends in my circle who I could even think of cheating on their wives. None of us have ever discussed intimacy (neither regarding their wives, nor anything like that at all) in the company of other male friends. And I certainly would not tolerate such conversations in my presence. However, I consider the woman, the character of this article, to be a wise person, since betrayals (physical and flirting) do happen. The consequences of such situations can be a variety of problems after a couple divorces … and the most common is that both spouses have a very high percentage of probability of never having a relationship again and remaining single forever. Someone will say that loneliness in the modern world is not a problem, not a sentence, etc. But statistics and medicine say the opposite – it is a big problem 👍 1 ❤️ 1 + Reply