We are used to thinking that maternal instinct is something like a basic package that is necessarily turned on along with two lines on the test, Ukr.Media informs.
Here is a woman who found herself in that mythical 0.1% contraceptive error rate, writing: she has no natural desire to nurture and protect. She simply forces herself to work as a mother every day, even though what she wants most in the world is to press pause and dissolve into her own loneliness.
Or another one who dreams of wrapping her daughter in bubble wrap, hiding her in a closet for ten years, and taking her out when she doesn't have to put an end to parties and trips.
Sounds wild? Maybe. But behind this fantasy lies a fierce fear of irreversibility. That on Saturday night you will be sitting there covered in baby vomit, with twenty pounds on you that refuse to go away, knowing that your life is no longer yours.
A separate genre of this anonymous pain is men and their “surprises.”
One instance started beating his wife on the third day after their wedding. She somehow raised the children, they turned out to be great, but because of past traumas, they now want nothing to do with her.
Another partner, along with his charming family, simply hid genetic diseases so as not to spoil the statistics. Now the mother looks at her one-year-old daughter in casts due to clubfoot, prepares for another tendon surgery and realizes that she was deceived from the start.
And then there are the parents whose sweet boys suddenly turn into copies of their abusive dads during puberty, or start stealing things from cars to buy drugs at 14. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Some confessions actually read like a chronicle of the slow death of a marriage.
The guy, whose girlfriend believed in the sacredness of sleeping with a baby, hasn't had any intimacy for six months, while simultaneously trying to write a dissertation and working from six in the morning.
Another couple lives as neighbors on a communal house — their conversations are limited to logistics: who will pick up, who will feed.
The worst begins when your nervous system goes into survival mode from constant noise, touching, and lack of sleep, but society stands over you with a stopwatch and demands that you be empathetic, maintain boundaries, and not raise your voice. Try being enlightened by a Buddha when babysitting services cost an incredible amount of money.
But all these complaints about lost freedom or figure pale in comparison to one text.
A woman whose six-year-old daughter died of a brain tumor. The disease blinded the child, changed her psyche, and drained all the resources from the family. The child is gone. And now this mother lives not only with grief. She carries within herself the most terrible secret: a corrosive sense of guilt because without the child, she became easier on a purely everyday level.
Reading all this is like watching someone peel off expensive wallpaper, revealing mold and bare brick underneath.
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Do we have the right to openly admit that parenthood was a mistake, or will it forever remain a shameful social taboo?
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🔓 Honesty above all 🚫 This is unacceptable selfishness 🤔 I have my own experience
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