Reading online confessions about the feverish hustle and bustle before the guests arrive, I am always amazed. The route is always the same and practiced to the point of automatism, informs Ukr.Media.
First, the hallway. We need to clear away the piles of shoes so that people can actually enter the apartment without breaking their legs.
Then — a throw in the bathtub. Personal towels disappear like evidence in a criminal case, and a guest towel is solemnly hung in their place. Fresh, perfectly dry, and a bit foreign. The plumbing is quickly filled with something aggressive, the toilet is flushed.
All that remains is to tightly close the doors to the pigsty, the children's room, and your own bedroom, creating a kind of sanitary zone in the living room.
Of course, in any such discussion, a caste of enlightened people instantly appears. Those who write with cold composure: “I'm not hiding anything, I always have a relative order that doesn't make people faint.”
You read this and feel a slight twinge of inferiority. And then women with children and dogs appear in the comments, and everything falls into place.
A special pleasure is to watch the domestic microdramas that unfold between the lines. Someone notes that perfect cleanliness is possible only before the baby is born. Another commentator gives out a generally ingenious thing: maintaining order became much easier when the ex-husband removed himself somewhere along with his maintenance needs. The ideal cleaning method, albeit a bit radical.
But if you look closely at the lists of what we actually hide from prying eyes, you'll get a good script for an absurd play. Someone is feverishly removing men's underwear and socks from the battery (the question of where exactly is usually left open). Someone is hiding dollars. Someone is hiding lovers.
You can ignore the tangles of fur on the floor. After all, a cat usually hides from unexpected guests on its own, demonstrating a much higher level of intelligence and self-preservation instinct than the rest of us.
Some people admit that their most ardent desire when the doorbell rings is to hide by themselves. Preferably somewhere very far from their own home, so that they definitely won't be found.
Perhaps it was thanks to these people that someone once invented coffee shop meetings.
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