In children's fairy tales, we were always promised a very clear, albeit dramatic choice: if you go left, you will lose your horse, if you go right, you will lose your head, if you go straight, you will lose yourself. But for some reason, no one warned us that just standing at the crossroads and thinking for a long time will not work. Time, this ruthless and invisible uncle who constantly pushes you in the back. Life goes on, even when you are absolutely not ready for it.
Various mindfulness gurus like to repeat that you can’t get wise by taking easy, well-trodden paths. You have to choose difficult, winding routes, get out of your comfort zone, they say. I always wanted to ask them: where have you seen these easy paths? Show me at least one.
In reality, there are no smooth paths. In front of each of us stands an absolutely sheer wall of our own problems and fears. If you want, fight your way up, knocking your knees into blood, or if you want, stand at the bottom, drink your coffee and with quiet anger envy those who have already miraculously found themselves at the top.
The more you understand how things work, the less you want to smile for no reason. In fact, even in the Book of Ecclesiastes it is written in black and white: he who increases knowledge increases sorrow. And this is probably the most accurate description of growing up that I have come across.
Illusions fall away somehow imperceptibly and painfully. Suddenly it becomes clear that we all come into this world alone and will leave the same way. No one needs anyone, everyone has their own dramas. The good that you do for others with such effort is most often taken for granted. And if you suddenly overdo it with altruism, you will also get a slap on the head for “meddling in something that is not your business.”
To simply accept the fact that there is significantly more grief and disappointment in the world than carefree joy, you need to have a really good mind. Or at least a very strong nervous system.
With age, King Solomon's quotes begin to sound not like pathetic statuses for social networks, but as a cynical statement of facts. There is a time for everything. A time to destroy and a time to build. A time to throw stones when you are emotional, and a time to silently collect them, healing your back. And his idea that fear is simply the surrender of common sense is generally worth printing it out and hanging on the refrigerator. While you are among the living, there is hope.
Recently, an acquaintance of mine recalled a funny story about his grandmother. A woman who had only finished three grades in her entire life, but had crystal-clear life observation, which is not taught in any personal growth courses. He is a metropolitan intellectual, decided to somehow make fun of her and give her a lecture on philosophy. He says: “You, grandmother, haven't read books, and now I will give you all the wisdom of humanity in one sentence. Everything passes, and this will pass.”
She looked at him the way one looks at a cat that has gotten tangled in its own paws. She sighed with the indulgence of someone who has not seen life through the screen of a smartphone, and said: “The fact that everything passes is clear to even a fool. I'll tell you something else, you remember. The fact that there is an abyss ahead does not give you the right to sit on the sidelines. You must walk your path as if it were endless. Because your job is to live, not wait for everything to pass.”
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