When you're over forty, the Internet ceases to be a place to search for answers and turns into an endless anthropological exhibition, Ukr.Media reports.
Late one night, when I didn't feel like sleeping and didn't have the energy to work, I came across a thread. Someone on Reddit asked a very simple question: “Heterosexual men, have you ever had a homosexual experience?”
I expected to see a parade of jokes and aggressive denial. But it was some kind of collective psychoanalysis session, where the men simply told what happens when curiosity, alcohol, or just chance get the better of them.
I've always been a little amused by our male tendency to be categorical. We love labels. I'm 100% straight, period. But reading these stories, you realize that human nature is a little different than we're used to thinking.
Take at least a guy who just decided to check how it is.
I went to a club with my friends, met a guy, thought, “What the hell,” kissed him for half the night, went to his house, and… slept with his roommate.
His verdict after all this sounds like a perfect review: women are softer, more pleasant to cuddle with, and they don't have stubble that literally tears the skin off their faces.
Now he is 100% sure that he is heterosexual. To be sure that you don't like oysters, you have to try them at least once.
Or this greeting from the nineties.
A man tells of a bohemian party where everything got mixed up. He is paying rapt attention to a woman, when he suddenly feels that someone is paying no less rapt attention to him.
When the smoke cleared and he looked down, it turned out to be the same woman's husband. The author's reaction is brilliant in its imperturbability: “I have to admit, he was good.”
A separate genre is student dormitories and the army.
One Marine honestly admitted that during a long tour of duty, his hormones just blew the roof off him. He knew that one of his colleagues was gay, and somehow it all happened by itself. At the same time, he writes absolutely seriously: “I would never go on a date with a man, I would not kiss him, I am not attracted to them. I am a ladies' man. But, as it turned out, I do not mind if another man …”.
Alcohol, of course, remains the great catalyst. The Great Equalizer.
How many of these stories begin with the words “we drank” or “we played truth or dare.” Childhood friends who went camping for years, and their games gradually progressed from innocent teenage bragging to oral… in tents.
Roommates, where it all started with a friendly back massage—because who doesn't have a sore back from those old mattresses?—and ended with mutual pleasure in complete silence that they never mentioned again.
Silence is generally the main soundtrack to men's secrets. They did it, they kept quiet, one went to look for a girl, the other thought about his “hundred-point” orientation.
But what struck me most about this thread wasn't the successful or semi-successful experiments, but those who honestly admitted to physiological failure. Those who decided to try it with their best friend just out of curiosity or to “give back,” but couldn't even get aroused, or started choking uncontrollably at the mere thought of the process. They would stop, pull up their pants, awkwardly chat about the weather, and then leave.
One of the commentators wrote a very accurate thing.
He said it's like two different worlds exist in his head. Ninety percent of the time he thinks exclusively about women, but that same ten percent remains when he remembers his strange, drunken summer fling with a guy at a bar. He doesn't regret it. He just lives with that knowledge about himself. “I'm not gay enough to identify as gay,” he writes, “but sometimes I wouldn't turn down an affair.”
I closed that thread feeling like I had finished reading a good collection of short fiction. We are all so stuck in our social roles. Afraid of appearing strange, inadequate, afraid of losing face in front of the boys.
And in reality, the world is full of men who sometimes just want intimacy, sometimes become victims of their own curiosity, and sometimes don't understand what's happening to them at all. Although I myself will probably stick to my traditional settings – my back hurts sometimes too, but somehow I manage without massages from my neighbors. Just in case.
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Does the man remain a “natural” after such an experiment, or is he simply afraid to admit the truth?
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🧪 Yes, this is an experience 🚫 No, he's gay 🤔 The main thing is to remain silent
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