More and more people are immersed in the internet. For some, it's become a soft, downy blanket they can cover themselves with, escaping everyday reality and problems, taking with them only those and only those they can truly call friends. And these aren't necessarily people: they could be secret desires, unrealistic dreams, or important thoughts. Having enjoyed the virtual world to their heart's content, they can crawl out from under the covers and, with a refreshed mind, dive into real reality, which isn't as pleasant as the one “under the duvet.”
But the internet isn't always so gentle and kind; more often, it acts as a fine-meshed net that, however, doesn't actually catch anyone, yet everyone, for some reason, is so eager to get caught. Once caught and completely entangled, a person is unlikely to be able to extricate themselves, and even if they do, the traces of such an adventure will remain long-lasting in the psyche of the “webfish.” Today, I'd like to focus on the most common way to “fish” the internet: online dating and online communication in general.
In fact, online communication is fraught with many psychological traps that initially appear as attractive opportunities.
The first trap is the ease and safety of creating new contacts. Online “relationships” are incredibly easy to start and very easy to end. There's no need to worry about how you look or what impression you make on others: others will see you only if you want them to, and in the way you want them to. A charming, captivating illusion of a fulfilling emotional life emerges, devoid of the inevitable drawbacks and difficulties that come with real-life interactions.
What's the danger? Relationships we build in real life always require significant emotional investment to create and maintain. Online relationships require almost no emotional investment. Something went wrong? Simply delete this contact from your list. Block them from messaging you, change their email address, and start over. The ease of creating connections discourages the effort required to maintain them. The result is numerous short-lived and empty virtual relationships, a fear of real-life relationships, and a desire to dull the feeling of loneliness with ever-increasing virtual romances.
Trap two. The internet gives you the opportunity to be someone you're not. In real life, are you a boring accountant or a modest engineer? What's the difference? Online, nothing can stop you from showing off your erudition (online encyclopedias are at your fingertips) and wit. You can pretend to be a ruined oligarch or a woman of easy virtue. You can try on and play any role you've always wanted to play but were afraid, embarrassed, or awkward about. Online, awkwardness and shame disappear as if by magic—and really, how can you be awkward in front of a soulless piece of iron?
What's the danger? Psychologists use the concept of “self-identity” to describe the set of qualities that make a person who they are. Online relationships often lead to a loss of self-identity; they allow people to play at being “the other person,” and the risk of getting carried away is high. Priorities shift: real life begins to seem like a boring preamble to the “real” one. Hidden psychological issues are often exposed, urgently demanding compensation. A shy student becomes a boorish cynic online, and a modest housewife becomes an aggressive feminist whose speech is replete with obscenities.
Trap three. The peculiarity of online communication is that the image of another person in online conversations is completely devoid of reality. We fill it with our own fantasies, latent desires, and unmet needs, and readily believe that the person on the other side of the monitor is truly like that. When communicating with their virtual interlocutor, people, of course, believe they are communicating with someone who is so well-suited to them, so understanding, and always an attentive listener, but in reality, they are communicating with themselves, communicating with an image they themselves have created. The content of the comments coming from the other side of the screen is irrelevant, since everything said by the interlocutor will be attributed to this fictitious image and imbued with the corresponding meaning.
What's the danger? Living in a fantasy world is extremely pleasant for a while, but it's impossible to prolong the illusion indefinitely. If the internet has spared part of one's consciousness, a desire to meet a virtual partner in person arises. It then becomes clear that the ideal image created is unlikely to correspond to reality, leading to disappointment and sometimes even depression. However, the most serious danger is that, carried away by the illusion and eager to maintain it as long as possible, people cut off the possibility of creating real, genuine relationships or end existing ones.
The internet offers tremendous opportunities for expanding a person's horizons and consuming information. On the other hand, it can also lead to a painful fixation. This is often the case. Some become completely immersed in an illusory virtual world, enthusiastically communicating with “cyberfriends” and “cyberbrides,” and gradually begin to lose the distinction between real, everyday life and these digital phantoms. Many say the internet develops communication skills, but given the monosyllabic nature of online conversations and the use of so-called emoticons, this is hard to believe. Thus, in real-life interactions, an internet addict can forget what words to say, how to say them, and how to behave. This leads to social deconditioning and, sometimes, even savagery.
Internet psychoses and neuroses have not yet been thoroughly studied in modern psychiatry. However, a rather unpleasant trend has emerged. People overly preoccupied with, and sometimes even zombified by, the internet tend to experience a diminished life. They become inactive, glued to their computers for hours, and develop hypokinesia. They lose sight of the beauty of the world around them and lose the ability to engage in normal human relationships, which are replaced by surrogate, base animal instincts for self-gratification and pleasure. Thus, internet addiction often turns people into moral maladapters, with a damaged psyche and no longer able to function in a society that rejects them.
I would like to conclude with a warning: behind the seemingly harmless and fashionable internet mania, do not overlook the onset of a serious neurosis, some kind of borderline psychological syndrome, which can ultimately lead to schizophrenia.
Don't get caught in the net and take care of yourself.
